The Gregory brothers celebrate charts, America, bread, mullets . . . and oh yea, T-Pain shows up, too.

Duration : 0:3:38

mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-5?pytr=gregorybrothers

find us on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews

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Lyrics:

ML: Any world order
That elevates one nation over another
Will fall flat
SG: Ah, snap
ML: I think that goes against the idea of American exceptionalism
SG: Exceptional fast food and exceptional dance moves.
ML: Most Americans believe that this country was gifted by God, a blessed nation, and that we are better.
SG: Yeah, we the promised land, a sacred place, gettin blessed by Joe Biden in space!
JB: God bless America!
All: Ay!
JB: Gah-awd bless America!
All: Ay!!
JB: God bless, God God bless
God bless America!!
All: Ay-men!!!
SB: Do you realize if you were to take that lettuce, dry it, and roll it, and smoke it…
MG: I know, it tastes like goat shit.
SB: You smoke your lettuce.
MG: Believe me, I’ve tried.
SB: You’re gonna end up with similar problems than if you were smoking tobacco.
MG: I know, fo sho, you should try it with tomato – burnin salad in my throat!
RM: Steve Buyer, warning complacent Americans about the risks of smoking lettuce.
MG: You can warn me all you want, but you’ll never stop my leafy green fetish.
SB: It’s not the nicotine that kills! It’s the smoooooke! The smooooooke.
Cancer: it’s the smoke.
Heart disease: it’s the smoke.
Respiratory disease: it’s the smoooooooke!
It’s the, it’s the inhalation, it’s the smooooke, the smooooooke.
If they wanna obtain their nicotine, it’s okay. It’s the smooooooke, the smooooooooooooke!
SG: The more produce we come across, the more problems we see.
KC: Some companies say they’ve received hundreds of applications for just a single opening.
One man sent a shoooooe to his prospective employer
EG: Shawtayee, don’t you know
That Air Jordan was from meeee?
KC: I wore a long, white eyelet dress and a floppy white hat
And carried a walking stick
EG: Oo-wee! Am I crazy, am I trippin on shrooms
Or you singin bout pimpin on the late night news?
Katie Coo, baby boo, you got swagga like a star
Don’t stop, real talk, we gon take it to the charts!
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
EG: We can be
KC: Bringing on the boogie
EG: Droppin rhymes like rain
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
Both: Bringing on the boogie
EG: With floppy hats and pimp canes
LC: We’ve got some breaking news
Let’s go to Tracy Burns–she’s got all the news
TB: Actually, Liz, I think you wanna jump up to Robert
Robert: Tracy, baby, you crazy
I don’t know what the hell’s goin on
Or where the camera belongs
Let’s go to Nicole
NP: Me?
Robert: Yeah, you
NP: Me?
Robert: Baby boo
NP: Me?
Robert: Whooo-ooooooooh
NP: Me?
Robert: Nicole don’t know; let’s throw it to Joe
Joe: Uh, you know, I’m, uh, tryna get a hold of this myself
Breaking news guys, um
I, I don’t have it, Liz, I have to send it back down to you
I’m afraid
LC: Okay, that’s okay
But the basics of it is
Clearly this is a fascinating story

Duration : 0:3:26

Urgent issues call for equally urgent harmonies, and they are provided by politicians, pundits, and gorillas alike in this chapter of news opera.

mp3 available–

http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-4/

Lyrics:

EG: Ay, nah nah, hey hey, nah nah ay oh
MG: I agree
EG: Where all the shawties on the court?

JS: It’s ridiculous, one woman on the Supreme Court, uh, doesn’t seem right to me.

EG: Ain’t nobody have a breakfast with all sausage and no eggs.

MG: We need a shawty with a hot body and sexy legs.

EG: When the court convenes it’s an ancient sausage festival.

MG: Only two ovaries, sixteen testicles..

BB: There are so many qualified women out there.

MG: Qualified to get low in they apple-bottomed robe.

MB: I completely agree with you.

EG: And I complete agree, too.

MG: How does Ginsburg stand being the only woman who ain’t a man?

BB: Judge Ginsburg said, she’s really very lonely without another woman.

MG, EG, BB: Without another woman, lonely without another woman!

EG: I know what it’s like with a woman gone, cryin in the nude with the curtains drawn.

MB: Breaking news!

EG, MG: Oh snap! News is broken! Breaking news, in ya face!

MB: Obama has picked Sonia Sotomayor.

EG, MG: She’s a shawty, She’s a Boricua!

EG: Jurisprudent!

JS: With soft thighs!

MG: And other soft features, that Ginsburg can appreciate, stayin up late, makin sure to thank
heaven above.

EG: because she ain’t

All: lonely without another woman, lonely without another woman!

EG: Listen up, y’all, Joe Biden’s got a shout out!
This one goes out to all the serbians
And also the ladies
But mostly the Serbians

JB: And until the Serbian people
Look themselves in the face
Understand what their leaders have done
And convinced them of
Until that moment arrives
Serbian people will not
Be able to shed this notion of victimization
That all of their leaders prey upon
And manipulate them with
Until that moment arrives
Until the Serbian people look themselves in the face
Until that moment arrives
Until that moment arriiiiiiiiives

KC: April showers bring May flowers
But what do May flowers bring?
AG: Romance for a shawty
KC: Possibly lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf::
KC: Lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf, barf:: I’m gettin sick like
::Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf::
KC: Before you dig in and start to enjoy all the
Fruits and vegetables of your labor
AG: Shawty
KC: You’d better get your soil tested first
AG: Oh
KC: Your soil tested first
AG: Oh, I live in the ghetto
So I’ll expect the worst
KC: Paint chippings and old pesticides
May be buried insiiiiide
AG: Me, oh my
KC: Raising the level of lead in the soil
The tests are inexpensive
And some local health departments
Do them for freeeeeeee
AG: Even for a talking head thug like me?
KC: Once you’re in the clear
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Plant away
AG: Okay
And when asked how does your garden grow
Tell them it’s healthy, green and lead-free
AG: I’ll say it’s healthy, green and lead-free, shawty
KC: Healtheeeeeee
AG: Healtheeeeeee, believe me
I ain’t tryna munch on a poison zucchini

NG: This bill actually has the secretary of energy
Regulating jacuzzis
Now, the ideastrikes me
As close to being nuts

AG: I agree–I’m an angry gorilla and that makes me angry

JI: The only jacuzzis this will regulate
Will have to produce 2,500 mega watts of energy

AG: You made me angry with lies
Hurt my angry gorilla pride; I’m angry

NG: On page 233, uh
Line 5: portable electric spas

All: Portable electric spas!

MG: No spa is above the law!

NG: Now, I don’t know what a portable electric spa is
I was told it was a jacuzzi
But that’s in this bill

AG: So it’s true!
I’m no longer angry at you
My original anger’s renewed

JI: We will give you a hot spa
That is energy efficient
I hope that doesn’t offend you

AG: He might have a point
My anger’s makin a switch
Cuz you’re being a little b*$&
But maybe not
Maybe you’re just defending freedom and justice for jacuzzis
ohhhhhh
What’s this? a single tear that is wet that i shed

When an angry gorilla cries
Who’s gonna be there to dry his eyes?
And when an angry gorilla’s depressed
Who’s gonna heal him with a soft caress?
Ooh ooh ah ah, the tears are rolling down my cheeks
Ooh ooh ah ah, liquid sorrow that my eyes excrete

And I’m a soulja, but a soulja’s got feelings,
Don’t know whom to lend my anger to,
And that’s why I’m crestfallen and confused

Shawty

Duration : 0:5:5

mp3 available for download:

http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-3?pytr=gregorybrothers

Zach McNees helped mix:

http://www.zachmcnees.com/

Lyrics:

EH: I think this is an ignoramus statement
Umm, I was even a person who thought
You know what, power to Joe the Plumber at that point
SG: Before he went around laying his pipe all over town
EH: Well, Joe the Plumber is not invited
Anywhere around me
EG: Does baby need a tissue?
Thinking about the time the plumber kissed you
Before you caught him creeping with the Shih Tzu
RM: As republicans, the party does seem to be in chaos
RP: They need to change their attitude, attitude
Their attitude, attitude
MG: Ay, tells us what your homeys can do
To make a change
RP: You know, they talk about personal freedoms
They have to believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know, we know, we know you just got to believe
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To believe in it, you know
MG/RM: We know!
RP: To belieeeeeeeeeve! Lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve!
MG: You saying Republicans on crack
Are you cozy with the Democrats?
RP: I just don’t think that either party
Right now offers a whole lot
MG: You’ll see some real change
From the 3rd party at my house
Poppin champagne, bacardi; gettin crunked out
Triple rhymin with Joe Biden
While we Imbibin Hennessy
Come on over–drinks on me, homey
HK: We’ll be friends with you
AZ: And bff with you
Main Damies with you
HK: And colleagues with you
AZ: I’ll be in your crew
HK: I’ll be in yours, too
AZ: Jumpin rope with you
HK: Playin Donkey Kong with you
AZ: Hatchin plans with you
HK/AZ: invade Tajikistan with you
HC: We do not believe either Afghanistan or Pakistan
Can achieve lasting progress
Without the full participation of all of your citizens
Including women and girls
AZ: Having a barbecue
HK: Grilling a goat with you
AZ: Grilling terrorists, too
HK: Getting matching tattoos
HC: The rights of women must be respected and protect–
AZ: –Picking flowers with you
HK: Hot showers with you
AZ: Falling in love with you
HK: Nude at the zoo
AZ/HK: Making memories at the pottery wheel, rubbing clay on you all afternoon
KC: It would be one of the most dramatic
Foreign policy about faces ever
AG: To what do you refer, shawtayee?
KC: A bipartisan bill in Congress would end
The 47-year-old trade freeze with Cuba
AG: Ojalá congreso le gusta esta
KC: It has only spotty support so far
But President Obama’s already taken some baby steps
Letting Cuban Americans visit family members
And send them money
But for most of us it’s still a place that is
Strictly off limits
AG: Not for this G
I just went there illegally
Speaking of which, will you buy drugs from me
On national TV?
Don’t fret–the people think I’m joking
But guess what (what?)?
I’ve never joked in my life; ooh-wee, shawtayee
KC: The trade embargo made sense a half century ago
AG: That’s 50 years
KC: During the Cold War
Fidel Castro took sides with the enemy
But the Soviet Union is long gone
AG: Disbanded:
KC/AG: Long gooooone!
SG: Dick Cheney. Rush Limbaugh or Colin Powell. Who’s your damie?
DC: Well, if I had to choose, uh
In terms of being a Republican I’d go with Rush Limbaugh
My take on it was Colin had already left the party
SG: I don’t think that actually happened
[awkward silence]
This is an awkward silence;
I guess I’ll fill it with ad libs
Oh! Shawty! Yeah
EG: Whoo! Aaaah
KC: Now it’s up to Fidel and Raúl Castro
AG: Esos Castros locos. Cuidado
KC: President Obama says he wants to see Democratic reforms
Particularly on human rights and free speech
So congress will be looking for signs of change
After almost 50 years
AG: Ay, that’s half a century
KC: U.S. policy will not reverse overnight
Relations remain chilly
But for the 1st time in generations
A thaw is possible
AG: A thaw, but what sort of thaw?
What exactly is thawing?
KC: Very, very, very, very
Very thin ice
AG/KC: Very thin ice, very thin ice, very thin ice

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Duration : 0:4:27

mp3 available: http://amiestreet.com/music/the-gregory-brothers/auto-tune-the-news-number-6/?pytr=gregorybrothers
ATTN shirts now available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News

disclaimer: DON’T TAKE PILLS WITH GIN! (OR ELSE YOU WILL WAKE UP DEAD!!)

the beat is a lightly remixed version of 100th Sight by Kapluckus (a Gregory Residence band consisting of Constance Waddell, Michael Gregory, Jamie Forrest, Stuart Harrison and Jacob Crigler)–find the original song here:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=287197640&s=143441

Lyrics:

NG: Hey-ohhhh! Congress! Climate change bill! Let’s get our debate on–1,2,3

MB:
It is time to stand up and say
We get to choose
We get to choose
It’s one of the two
liberty or tyranny

EG: can we please choose something in between?
mediocrity?
MG: chastity?
HW: puppetry?
OB: obesity?
JE: marijuanity? pretty please?!

MB: The underlying bill represents the tyranny of the government
It’s our choice, what will we choose today?
Will we choose liberty, or will we choose tyranny?

MG: it all depends–who gets to be the tyrant?
SG: I thought this bill was about the climate

NP: Just remember these 4 words
For what this legislation means
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs
Let’s vote for jobs
CC: and jobs
NP: and jobs
CC: don’t forget about jobs

Speaker: Those in favor say “aye”.
CC: AAAAYYE!
Speaker: Those opposed, “no”.

JB:
Hell no! no! noooooooo!!
The fight that we have between the 2 sides of the aisle boils down to one word:
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom that will allow the American people to live their lives
hell no!
Nano Man: no!
JB: no!
Nano Man: no!
JB: noooooooo!
Nano Man: no!
Let’s allow America to flourish to allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish!
hell noooooooo!
———————
SP:
I’m not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual.
With this announcement that I’m not seeking re-election, I’ve determined that it’s best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell.

RS:
Hey, could she be pregnant?

EG: Pregnant with ideas bout how to run for president!

CW:
Interesting and perhaps successful strategy to win her the presidency.

MG: To win you gotta quit!
EG: To quit you gotta win!
MG: the chips are on the table –
WK: She’s really all in.
But it’s high risk.

JL:
The people who like her
Are still gonna like her
The people who have doubts about her
Are just gonna have the same doubts
EG: No doubt
JL: Same doubts
MG: SHAWTAYEE
All: Same doubts!

———————-
Couric:
What do you do if you have Tylenol and other medications with acetaminophen?

JE: I take a fistful of pills
and get busy mixin em in my gin

What about Vicodin and Percocet? Will they be banned ultimately?

JE: Not if I can help it!
You know it’s unconstitutional
To take away my God-given pharmaceuticals

———————–
BO: I have warned that one day
Michael Jackson would wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
Meredith, I had warned everyone–
SG: –He told you so
BO: –one day we’re going to have this experience
I feared this day
And here we are
Keith, people often die
for very strange reasons
They wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
EG: wakin up
MG: wakin up
BO: wakin up
KC: wakin up
EG: wakin up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie
…….whoo!
—————————————————
find us on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
and/or on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews

Duration : 0:3:2

mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-8?pytr=gregorybrothers
iphone auto-tune app: http://iamtpain.smule.com/

We were honored to be joined in our newsmangling by Chairman Pain of the Federal Commission of T-Pain. Find him here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/TPainVideos

http://twitter.com/DaRealerstTPAIN

http://www.facebook.com/t-pain

links to us:

t-shirts: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
donate: http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers

Lyrics:

JB: Imagine with me for a moment.
Imagine an America.
Imagine a world
Where people pop the hood of their cars
And they see stamped on an electronic motor the words:
“Made in America.”
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: Imagine, imagine…
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: That’s what I want to imagine!
All: God bless y’all.

MV: Now I wanna be part of the solution and not the problem.
I gotta start somewhere, gotta crawl before I walk.
All: Ay! Crawl before I walk, ay! Crawl before I walk!
EG & SG: Before he flies like an Eagle.
EG: woo!
SVP: Michael Vick served his time, he paid his debt to society and now,
he has either earned or been given another chance.
SVP,EG,SG: Another chaaaance!

MR: Katie Couric is off today.
AG: But I’m still lookin at a fine shawtay-ay-ay.
MR: I’m Maggie Rodriguez.
AG: Nice to meet you, boo. Let’s talk about the noo-ews.
MR: The city of New York is declaring a war on geese
And some animal activists are crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying foul.
AG: Crying how?
MR: Crying fowl.
AG: oh
MR: Birds can become a feathered foe if they collide with airplanes
AG: True.
MR: Operation Goose-Be-Gone involves reducing the population within five miles of the airport
Both: Those geese are cooked. Those geese are cooked, cooked, cooked.
MR: Wildlife experts and the FAA agree
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: The Federal Commission of Me agrees
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: Now they livin on a wing and a prayer
Both: A wing and a prayer
AG: How many geese?
MR: Two thousand geese.
AG: That’s a lot of geese.
MR: Those geese are f—ed.
AG: So sad and so tasty for my helpless flyin homies.
MR: The debate continues in New York, but for now
Both: Those geese are cooked, cooked.

CG: As you can see from the chart,
A massive fire-breathing Debt and Deficit Dragon
CG: I have a chart.
CC: He has a chart!
CG: I have a chart.
CC: A dragon chart!
CG: The surtax is painful to the goose,
Lethal to the goose
CC: Which goose?
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg
CC: My favorite goose
CG: The goose that lays, the goose that lays, lays the golden egg.
CC: That goose is cooked, cooked, cooked!
JE: Am I wasted or did that really transpire?
So many metaphors my brain is on fire.
*phone* Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Aaaay!
TPain: Tell Katie-Coo, stop screenin my calls.
Or else, she gon be on
Very thin ice
JE: Very thin ice
KC: Very thin ice
All: Very thin ice
JE: Sing it T-Pain, geese are on
All: Very thin ice
MR: Those geese are cooked, those geese are cooked, cooked.
SVP: Give ‘em another chance.
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg!
MR: Those geese are f—-ed. Those geese are
All: Made in America, made in America
SVP: Michael Vick served his time
JE: But he’s on very thin ice
All: Very thin ice. Very very very thin ice.
CG: I have a chart.
MG: I have a mullet.
CG: I have a chart.
MG: I’m offerin you a piece of bread. How could you possibly refuse a man with a mullet.
piece of BREEAAD!

Duration : 0:3:33