The Gregory Brothers tackle Sotomayor, poison flowers, Joe Biden, and Jacuzzis.

mp3 available–

http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-4/

Their channel here:

http://www.youtube.com/schmoyoho

Lyrics:

EG: where all the shawties on the court?

JS: It’s ridiculous, one woman on the Supreme Court, uh, doesn’t seem right to me.

EG: Ain’t nobody have a breakfast with all sausage and no eggs.

MG: We need a shawty with a hot body and sexy legs.

EG: When the court convenes it’s an ancient sausage festival.

MG: Only two ovaries, sixteen testicles..

BB: There are so many qualified women out there.

MG: Qualified to get low in they apple-bottomed robe.

MB: I completely agree with you.

EG: And I complete agree, too.

MG: How does Ginsburg stand being the only woman who ain’t a man?

BB: Judge Ginsburg said, she’s really very lonely without another woman.

MG, EG, BB: Without another woman, lonely without another woman!

EG: I know what it’s like with a woman gone, cryin in the nude with the curtains drawn.

MB: Breaking news!

EG, MG: Oh snap! News is broken! Breaking news, in ya face!

MB: Obama has picked Sonia Sotomayor.

EG, MG: She’s a shawty, She’s a Boricua!

EG: Jurisprudent!

JS: With soft thighs!

MG: And other soft features, that Ginsburg can appreciate, stayin up late, makin sure to thank
heaven above.

EG: because she ain’t

All: lonely without another woman, lonely without another woman!

EG: Listen up, y’all, Joe Biden’s got a shout out!
This one goes out to all the serbians
And also the ladies
But mostly the Serbians

JB: And until the Serbian people
Look themselves in the face
Understand what their leaders have done
And convinced them of
Until that moment arrives
Serbian people will not
Be able to shed this notion of victimization
That all of their leaders prey upon
And manipulate them with
Until that moment arrives
Until the Serbian people look themselves in the face
Until that moment arrives
Until that moment arriiiiiiiiives

KC: April showers bring May flowers
But what do May flowers bring?
AG: Romance for a shawty
KC: Possibly lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf::
KC: Lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf, barf:: I’m gettin sick like
::Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf::
KC: Before you dig in and start to enjoy all the
Fruits and vegetables of your labor
AG: Shawty
KC: You’d better get your soil tested first
AG: Oh
KC: Your soil tested first
AG: Oh, I live in the ghetto
So I’ll expect the worst
KC: Paint chippings and old pesticides
May be buried insiiiiide
AG: Me, oh my
KC: Raising the level of lead in the soil
The tests are inexpensive
And some local health departments
Do them for freeeeeeee
AG: Even for a talking head thug like me?
KC: Once you’re in the clear
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Plant away
AG: Okay
And when asked how does your garden grow
Tell them it’s healthy, green and lead-free
AG: I’ll say it’s healthy, green and lead-free, shawty
KC: Healtheeeeeee
AG: Healtheeeeeee, believe me
I ain’t tryna munch on a poison zucchini

NG: This bill actually has the secretary of energy
Regulating jacuzzis
Now, the ideastrikes me
As close to being nuts

AG: I agree–I’m an angry gorilla and that makes me angry

JI: The only jacuzzis this will regulate
Will have to produce 2,500 mega watts of energy

AG: You made me angry with lies
Hurt my angry gorilla pride; I’m angry

NG: On page 233, uh
Line 5: portable electric spas

All: Portable electric spas!

MG: No spa is above the law!

NG: Now, I don’t know what a portable electric spa is
I was told it was a jacuzzi
But that’s in this bill

AG: So it’s true!
I’m no longer angry at you
My original anger’s renewed

JI: We will give you a hot spa
That is energy efficient
I hope that doesn’t offend you

AG: He might have a point
My anger’s makin a switch
Cuz you’re being a little b*$&
But maybe not
Maybe you’re just defending freedom and justice for jacuzzis
ohhhhhh
What’s this? a single tear that is wet that i shed

When an angry gorilla cries
Who’s gonna be there to dry his eyes?
And when an angry gorilla’s depressed
Who’s gonna heal him with a soft caress?
Ooh ooh ah ah, the tears are rolling down my cheeks
Ooh ooh ah ah, liquid sorrow that my eyes excrete

And I’m a soulja, but a soulja’s got feelings,
Don’t know whom to lend my anger to,
And that’s why I’m crestfallen and confused

Duration : 0:5:11

Originally posted 2010-02-26 17:40:13. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Gregory brothers celebrate charts, America, bread, mullets . . . and oh yea, T-Pain shows up, too.

Duration : 0:3:38

Originally posted 2010-03-04 16:46:26. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

“uh . . . is this the news, or a bedtime story?”

Duration : 0:3:20

Originally posted 2010-03-24 13:28:44. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

presidents and prime ministers sing in harmony. Love and happiness abounds. Get the mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-9?pytr=gregorybrothers

Donations:

http://www.thegregorybrothers.com

Lyrics:

HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
Seamos un tilín mejores
Y un poco menos egoístas
Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
Huele a esperanza
FR: In this common endeavor
Huele a esperanza
GB: All of us work together
HC: Tun tun tun tun tun tun tun tun
BO: We must embrace a new era of engagement
Because the time has come
UN Choir: To smell the hope!
GB: For growth to be sustained
It has to be shared

UN Choir: ohhh, We can smell the hope!
BO: The time has come
UN Choir: To smell a better world!!
FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere.

AG: Don’t get sick
That’s right, don’t get sick
If you have insurance, don’t get sick
If you don’t have insurance, don’t get sick
If you’re sick, don’t get sick
Just don’t get sick
That’s the Republicans’ health care plan
CC: He has a chart
AG: An angry chart
CC: A chart that helps us learn!
AG: ooh ooh ah ah
If you get sick in America, die quickly
That’s right–the Republicans want you to die quickly if you get sick
AG: I agree!
CC: He agrees!
AG: Angrily!
CC: Cuz he’s angry!

KO: Afford to live?
Are we at that point?
Are we so heartless?
How can we not be united against death?
Us: My BFF Gilgamesh knows eternal life’s an impossible quest

The resources exist for your father and mine to get the same treatment
Us: Yeah, we’re in agreement
But first we gotta lay down some
All: High speed rail
Us: Bail out some
All: Banks
Us: Save your daddy with the leftover change

KO: How can we be so heartless?
Us: We’re nihilists!
KO: How can we be so heeeeaaartless?
Us: We’re tryna die quick!
KO: What more obvious role could government have
Than the defense of the life of each citizen?

KC: How is the Nobel Peace Prize decided?
BS: Well, uh, that is what people were asking all day today
Bølverk: We mix a secret potion,
And roll the ancient dice,
Then hire a focus group
And have a human sacrifice.
KC: A lot of people are asking today why do you think the committee elected President Obama?
Bølverk: I believe a prize for peace should go to the biggest wuss.
BS: They were giving Obama a prize for not being George Bush.
Choir: They can smell the hope!!
KC: Take a deep breath!
Choir: And hope a smelly world!
KC: A deep breath!
FR: A better world to live in for future generations everywhere

Duration : 0:2:56

Originally posted 2010-02-02 10:50:12. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Auto-Tune the News returns with turtle fences, the Super Bowl, and more!

Leave us a voicemail
1-(646)-827-2202

–

Duration : 0:3:21

mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-7/?pytr=gregorybrothers
ATTN shirts available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News

thanks to our friend Aaron for his arresting appearance in this episode!

http://www.myspace.com/asteele

also, thanks to Tchaikovsky for providing such a fiery hook (from Swan Lake):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyotr_Ilyich_Tchaikovsky

lyrics:

JE: Let’s get it right.
ABS: Let’s get it right.
JE: Shawty on the mic.

AH: The fact is that right now if you are black or hispanic,
you have a much greater chance of being arrested.
JE: Are you sayin we got thugs in the fuzz?
AH: Particularly when it comes to the war on drugs.
JE/ABS: Real talk, we got caught together smokin lettuce leaves.
JE: Lettuce leaves.
ABS: They put me in the slammer.
JE: They gave me a college degree!
ABS: WTF?
JE: In biology.
ABS: He don’t know a tiger from a giraffe.

DB: It is painful, it is shameful.
ABS: Disdainful! I’m on parole.
JE: I’m keepin my glass of champagne full
top of the world.
ABS: Brick on my ankle.

DB: If you are stopped by the police
Putcha head down and just wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Don’t say nothin.
ABS: Shh.
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Putcha head down
ALL: Do the dance now!
DB: Putcha head down and just wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
ALL: Putcha head down, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
AH: This is happening all the time
It’s really stunning
————————-
PB: This has been a country built by white folks.
100% of the people who wrote the Constitution,
100% of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence,
White folks, Whi–i–i–ite folks!
I look at the track team, and they’re all black folks.
I think maybe those are the fastest guys we got.
Fastest guys in the country,
Fastest in the wooooorld.
Black folks, Bla—a–a–ack folks!

SG: WTF? I think I’m having an stroke,
Suffering a white guy overload.
Doctor, doctor, can a shawty get a shot to the frontal lobe.
OH.

AS: It’s not always just black and white, black and white.
We’re fighting right now for a young white male
Who we felt the police abused by sticking something in his rectum.
EG: Why they gotta disrespect him?
SG: Can we please move on now, Reverend?
AS: Sticking something in his rectum.
——————-
DL: Trouble, we got trouble right here in Capitol City.
With a capitol T, and it rhymes with B, that stands for broke!
CC: We broke!
DL: Right here in Capitol City, right here, we gotta figure out
a way to help the Americans who are about to choke!
CC: No joke!
DL: Oh yes we’ve got trouble. Trouble, trouble.
CC: Triple trouble.
DL: Trouble, trouble.
CC: Big time trouble.
DL: T! Rhymes with -
CC: P!
DL: Rhymes with -
CC: C!
DL: Rhymes with -
CC: G!
AG: I’m angry!!
DL: Rhymes with D.
And it stands for Democrat.
CC: Oooh.
——————-
KC: Texting while driving is dangerous, dangerous.
EG/SG: Treacherous!
MG: Perilous!
KC: People who were text messaging were 20 times
more likely to have an accident than those who were
talking on phones instead of typing. Just say no.
EG: But I’m a sucker for peer pressure. My thumbs can’t stop!
KC: Get a designated texter.
MG: [sexy breathing] Ow!
KC: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
ALL: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.

—————————————- ———–
find us on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
and/or on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews

Duration : 0:3:16

mp3 available: http://amiestreet.com/music/the-gregory-brothers/auto-tune-the-news-number-6/?pytr=gregorybrothers
ATTN shirts now available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News

disclaimer: DON’T TAKE PILLS WITH GIN! (OR ELSE YOU WILL WAKE UP DEAD!!)

the beat is a lightly remixed version of 100th Sight by Kapluckus (a Gregory Residence band consisting of Constance Waddell, Michael Gregory, Jamie Forrest, Stuart Harrison and Jacob Crigler)–find the original song here:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=287197640&s=143441

Lyrics:

NG: Hey-ohhhh! Congress! Climate change bill! Let’s get our debate on–1,2,3

MB:
It is time to stand up and say
We get to choose
We get to choose
It’s one of the two
liberty or tyranny

EG: can we please choose something in between?
mediocrity?
MG: chastity?
HW: puppetry?
OB: obesity?
JE: marijuanity? pretty please?!

MB: The underlying bill represents the tyranny of the government
It’s our choice, what will we choose today?
Will we choose liberty, or will we choose tyranny?

MG: it all depends–who gets to be the tyrant?
SG: I thought this bill was about the climate

NP: Just remember these 4 words
For what this legislation means
Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs
Let’s vote for jobs
CC: and jobs
NP: and jobs
CC: don’t forget about jobs

Speaker: Those in favor say “aye”.
CC: AAAAYYE!
Speaker: Those opposed, “no”.

JB:
Hell no! no! noooooooo!!
The fight that we have between the 2 sides of the aisle boils down to one word:
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom
CC: freedom!
JB: freedom that will allow the American people to live their lives
hell no!
Nano Man: no!
JB: no!
Nano Man: no!
JB: noooooooo!
Nano Man: no!
Let’s allow America to flourish to allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish!
hell noooooooo!
———————
SP:
I’m not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual.
With this announcement that I’m not seeking re-election, I’ve determined that it’s best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell.

RS:
Hey, could she be pregnant?

EG: Pregnant with ideas bout how to run for president!

CW:
Interesting and perhaps successful strategy to win her the presidency.

MG: To win you gotta quit!
EG: To quit you gotta win!
MG: the chips are on the table –
WK: She’s really all in.
But it’s high risk.

JL:
The people who like her
Are still gonna like her
The people who have doubts about her
Are just gonna have the same doubts
EG: No doubt
JL: Same doubts
MG: SHAWTAYEE
All: Same doubts!

———————-
Couric:
What do you do if you have Tylenol and other medications with acetaminophen?

JE: I take a fistful of pills
and get busy mixin em in my gin

What about Vicodin and Percocet? Will they be banned ultimately?

JE: Not if I can help it!
You know it’s unconstitutional
To take away my God-given pharmaceuticals

———————–
BO: I have warned that one day
Michael Jackson would wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
Meredith, I had warned everyone–
SG: –He told you so
BO: –one day we’re going to have this experience
I feared this day
And here we are
Keith, people often die
for very strange reasons
They wake up dead
Wake up, wake up dead
EG: wakin up
MG: wakin up
BO: wakin up
KC: wakin up
EG: wakin up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie
…….whoo!
—————————————————
find us on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers
and/or on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews

Duration : 0:3:2

mp3 available: http://amiestreet.com/music/the-gregory-brothers/auto-tune-the-news-number-6/?pytr=gregorybrothers
ATTN shirts also available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
The Gregory Brothers bring the world another installment of the news with a beat. Among the topics this week: Jackson, Palin, and Bachman, oh my!
See Michael Gregory’s other videos at: http://www.youtube.com/schmoyoho

Duration : 0:3:7

mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-8?pytr=gregorybrothers
iphone auto-tune app: http://iamtpain.smule.com/

We were honored to be joined in our newsmangling by Chairman Pain of the Federal Commission of T-Pain. Find him here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/TPainVideos

http://twitter.com/DaRealerstTPAIN

http://www.facebook.com/t-pain

links to us:

t-shirts: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News
donate: http://www.thegregorybrothers.com
twitter: http://www.twitter.com/autotunethenews
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers

Lyrics:

JB: Imagine with me for a moment.
Imagine an America.
Imagine a world
Where people pop the hood of their cars
And they see stamped on an electronic motor the words:
“Made in America.”
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: Imagine, imagine…
All: Made in America! Made in America!
JB: That’s what I want to imagine!
All: God bless y’all.

MV: Now I wanna be part of the solution and not the problem.
I gotta start somewhere, gotta crawl before I walk.
All: Ay! Crawl before I walk, ay! Crawl before I walk!
EG & SG: Before he flies like an Eagle.
EG: woo!
SVP: Michael Vick served his time, he paid his debt to society and now,
he has either earned or been given another chance.
SVP,EG,SG: Another chaaaance!

MR: Katie Couric is off today.
AG: But I’m still lookin at a fine shawtay-ay-ay.
MR: I’m Maggie Rodriguez.
AG: Nice to meet you, boo. Let’s talk about the noo-ews.
MR: The city of New York is declaring a war on geese
And some animal activists are crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying
AG: Crying?
MR: Crying foul.
AG: Crying how?
MR: Crying fowl.
AG: oh
MR: Birds can become a feathered foe if they collide with airplanes
AG: True.
MR: Operation Goose-Be-Gone involves reducing the population within five miles of the airport
Both: Those geese are cooked. Those geese are cooked, cooked, cooked.
MR: Wildlife experts and the FAA agree
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: The Federal Commission of Me agrees
Both: Those geese are cooked.
AG: Now they livin on a wing and a prayer
Both: A wing and a prayer
AG: How many geese?
MR: Two thousand geese.
AG: That’s a lot of geese.
MR: Those geese are f—ed.
AG: So sad and so tasty for my helpless flyin homies.
MR: The debate continues in New York, but for now
Both: Those geese are cooked, cooked.

CG: As you can see from the chart,
A massive fire-breathing Debt and Deficit Dragon
CG: I have a chart.
CC: He has a chart!
CG: I have a chart.
CC: A dragon chart!
CG: The surtax is painful to the goose,
Lethal to the goose
CC: Which goose?
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg
CC: My favorite goose
CG: The goose that lays, the goose that lays, lays the golden egg.
CC: That goose is cooked, cooked, cooked!
JE: Am I wasted or did that really transpire?
So many metaphors my brain is on fire.
*phone* Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Ay!
TPain: Ay!
JE: Aaaay!
TPain: Tell Katie-Coo, stop screenin my calls.
Or else, she gon be on
Very thin ice
JE: Very thin ice
KC: Very thin ice
All: Very thin ice
JE: Sing it T-Pain, geese are on
All: Very thin ice
MR: Those geese are cooked, those geese are cooked, cooked.
SVP: Give ‘em another chance.
CG: The goose that lays the golden egg!
MR: Those geese are f—-ed. Those geese are
All: Made in America, made in America
SVP: Michael Vick served his time
JE: But he’s on very thin ice
All: Very thin ice. Very very very thin ice.
CG: I have a chart.
MG: I have a mullet.
CG: I have a chart.
MG: I’m offerin you a piece of bread. How could you possibly refuse a man with a mullet.
piece of BREEAAD!

Duration : 0:3:33

Gregory Brothers return with another stellar jam, this time tackling among other things lettuce and smoke

mp3: http://amiestreet.com/music/auto-tune-the-news/auto-tune-the-news-number-5?pytr=gregorybrothers

Lyrics:

Lyrics:

ML: Any world order
That elevates one nation over another
Will fall flat
SG: Ah, snap
ML: I think that goes against the idea of American exceptionalism
SG: Exceptional fast food and exceptional dance moves.
ML: Most Americans believe that this country was gifted by God, a blessed nation, and that we are better.
SG: Yeah, we the promised land, a sacred place, gettin blessed by Joe Biden in space!
JB: God bless America!
All: Ay!
JB: Gah-awd bless America!
All: Ay!!
JB: God bless, God God bless
God bless America!!
All: Ay-men!!!
SB: Do you realize if you were to take that lettuce, dry it, and roll it, and smoke it…
MG: I know, it tastes like goat shit.
SB: You smoke your lettuce.
MG: Believe me, I’ve tried.
SB: You’re gonna end up with similar problems than if you were smoking tobacco.
MG: I know, fo sho, you should try it with tomato – burnin salad in my throat!
RM: Steve Buyer, warning complacent Americans about the risks of smoking lettuce.
MG: You can warn me all you want, but you’ll never stop my leafy green fetish.
SB: It’s not the nicotine that kills! It’s the smoooooke! The smooooooke. Cancer: it’s the smoke. Heart disease: it’s the smoke. Respiratory disease: it’s the smoooooooke! It’s the, it’s the inhalation, it’s the smooooke, the smooooooke. If they wanna obtain their nicotine, it’s okay. It’s the smooooooke, the smooooooooooooke!
SG: The more produce we come across, the more problems we see.
KC: Some companies say they’ve received hundreds of applications for just a single opening.
One man sent a shoooooe to his prospective employer
EG: Shawtayee, don’t you know
That Air Jordan was from meeee?
KC: I wore a long, white eyelet dress and a floppy white hat
And carried a walking stick
EG: Oo-wee! Am I crazy, am I trippin on shrooms
Or you singin bout pimpin on the late night news?
Katie Coo, baby boo, you got swagga like a star
Don’t stop, real talk, we gon take it to the charts!
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
EG: We can be
KC: Bringing on the boogie
EG: Droppin rhymes like rain
You can be
KC: Lady Gaga
EG: I can be
KC: T-Pain
Both: Bringing on the boogie
EG: With floppy hats and pimp canes
LC: We’ve got some breaking news
Let’s go to Tracy Burns–she’s got all the news
TB: Actually, Liz, I think you wanna jump up to Robert
Robert: Tracy, baby, you crazy
I don’t know what the hell’s goin on
Or where the camera belongs
Let’s go to Nicole
NP: Me?
Robert: Yeah, you
NP: Me?
Robert: Baby boo
NP: Me?
Robert: Whooo-ooooooooh
NP: Me?
Robert: Nicole don’t know; let’s throw it to Joe
Joe: Uh, you know, I’m, uh, tryna get a hold of this myself
Breaking news guys, um
I, I don’t have it, Liz, I have to send it back down to you
I’m afraid
LC: Okay, that’s okay
But the basics of it is
Clearly this is a fascinating story

The Gregorys’ channel:

http://www.youtube.com/schmoyoho

Duration : 0:3:26